In Which Everything that Can Go Wrong, Goes Wrong
by Mako-Shadows
Summary: We felt left out since everyone else had one, so we decided that the Fellowship really needed our company. Hopefully this will have a bit of originality. CH 02 UP! Rating PG because of a bit of swearing.
1. Joining the Fellowship

In Which Everything that Can Go Wrong, Goes Wrong.

(Or In Which We Wreak Havoc In Middle-earth)

by Mako-Shadows

Disclaimer: Don't own Middle-earth, Sauron wouldn't trade it for an A&W Onion Ring.

AN- We felt left out since everyone else had one, so we decided that the Fellowship really needed our company. Hopefully this will have a bit of originality.

Chapter One: Joining the Fellowship.

~*~*~*~

The sun was shining as the Council of Elrond gathered to talk about the weather. Just as they were getting down to business there came a loud scream followed by a shout that sounded something like. "Mako, I'm flying." Then of course came the crash. Two teenagers fell right into the middle of a secret council.

"No, you're falling." A brunette said standing up.

"No, I fell. By the way Mako we should have gone splat like a bug from the force of that landing." The other one said.

Mako looked around and saw that they had crashed a party, pretty literally. "Uh... Gauntlet?"

"What can't you see I'm busy here." Gauntlet said irritably while filching the Ring.

"Who are you?" Elrond asked.

"I'm Gauntlet and this is Mako." Gauntlet said introducing them. 

The two were quite odd looking. 

Gauntlet had scruffy black hair and dark eyes. Her clothes had obviously seen better days. One of her pant-legs was shorter than the other and was held in place below the knee by a belt. Her army boots had belts holding them on too. Her long-sleeved shirt was missing half a sleeve. Her gauntlets were belted to her forearms and her shoulder armour was nicked and scratched and her cloak hung limply from it. She was dressed in blacks and greys and held what looked like a square of metal in one hand. 

Mako was brunette with matching eyes. She was also quite a bit neater than her sister. Not that that was hard. She was wearing a colourful poncho-like cloak that went to her waist, a purple tank top, and her green pants went to mid-calf. Over that she had a yellow oversized scarf-like thing around her waist, it slanted from her right knee up to the middle of her left thigh. In her hands she held a double ended halberd with green blades. 

They were definitely odd, on dear old Terra and on Middle-earth.

"How did you get here?" Gandalf asked.

"We fell down after-" Mako started.

"Well it was like this ole buddy, ole pal. Here we were at a Halloween party when this weird guy came up to us. Not that that was surprising, it was Halloween after all. But this dude felt odd, different. He asked us if we wanted to go help some of his friends and the next thing we knew we were falling through the sky and crash landing here." Gauntlet said. "Bet your glad I made us get real armour and weapons for our costumes, eh?" 

Mako sighed.

"Where are you from?" Elrond asked.

"Terra, perhaps you've heard of it?" Blank look from Elrond. "Or maybe not. Not much tourism around here, is there?"

"Anyway, what are you going to do with us?" Mako asked.

Elrond gave an order and soon two more chairs had joined the circle. The girls sat down and listened to the others discuss what was going to happen to the Ring. Gauntlet got bored and started to bargain with her hand.

"Where did the Ring go?!" Elrond almost shouted alarmed. Everyone looked at Boromir, who shrugged.

"Where is the Ring?" Aragorn demanded.

Mako looked at her sister who was still bargaining with her hand, she looked closer and saw that she was actually bargaining with a band of gold. Mako gave another long-suffering sigh.

"Err... Is this Ring perhaps a band of gold?" They nod. "And does it perhaps have some form of Elvish writing on it?" Nod. "And can it be used to take over the world per say?" They nod again. "Never seen it." Anime face-vaults. 

"It's a deal, Sauron!" Gauntlet shouted jumping up. Everyone stars at Gauntlet.

"Put the Ring back." Elrond commanded pointing at the pedestal. The council held their collective breath as Gauntlet approached the pedestal. She sighed regretfully and put the Ring back muttering under her breath. Everyone exhaled with relief. 

Now that the Ring was back everyone felt free to argue amongst themselves about it. Soon Frodo was volunteering to take the Ring to Mordor and throw it in some lava. (I guess they don't have any other volcanoes.) Mako sat in her seat and watched what was happening, Gauntlet was busy throwing pebbles at everyone. Soon the Fellowship was decided and before Elrond could say anything about Nine Companions Mako spoke up.

"Um... Mr. Elrond sir, what are you going to do with us?" She asked, glancing at her 'older' sister who was still happily throwing pebbles at everyone. Elrond looked thoughtful, and then alarmed.

"Oh... You don't have to worry about us Elrond, we'll just hang here for a while. At least until you can figure out a way for us to go home." Gauntlet said as one of her pebbles hit Elrond square in the middle of his forehead. "Lucky you have a tiara protecting you head." She said snickering.

"Mako, you and your sister will be going with the Fellowship." Elrond said glaring at Gauntlet who was currently trying to whistle innocently. Not having much luck with either the innocent or whistling part.

"We can't go." Gauntlet said firmly, "If we do you won't have your magic number of nine."

Elrond cast desperately about for some reason to stick them with the Fellowship. He was rather fond of Rivendell and was sure that given a chance Gauntlet would destroy it 'accidentally' and her sister would probably help given the least bit of encouragement.

"The Hobbits are so small that two of them can be counted as one, so you see it's perfectly alright if you join the Fellowship. In fact I command you to join the Fellowship. With- I mean without you Middle-earth will be doomed."

Mako not wanting to stay in Rivendell kicked her sister in the shin, just to give her a friendly little hint about what she wanted to do. Gauntlet got the point and a bruise.

"Somehow I don't believe you but I guess we can go along anyway. Maybe when we see Sauron, I can convince him that his half of the deal isn't too hard to uphold." Gauntlet said. "Do you really think that it's a good id-" Kick in the shin. "Err... never mind."

Elrond breathed an ill-concealed sigh of relief. The next few days were filled with activity, everyone was getting ready for the Fellowship's departure. Elladan and Elrohir had promptly taken the two girls under their wing and the two had proven that they were very good at corrupting people. Rivendell didn't know a moment's peace, especially when the two younger Hobbits decided that they wanted to help. Finally it was time for the Fellowship to depart. Elrond was fervently hoping that Elladan and Elrohir would 'grow up' after the Fellowship left.

~*~*~*~

Elrond was giving his speech while the Fellowship stood waiting to depart. It seemed to drag on forever. _Maybe Elves don't feel the need to keep things short since they live for millions of years, _Mako thought looking over at her sister who was snoring softly. Mako just shook her head and wondered how anyone could sleep standing up._ (_Not an easy skill to learn, trust me.)

Gauntlet, who had woke up at the exact end of Elrond's speech, snickered when Frodo asked which way Mordor was. The two girls followed the rest of the Fellowship and waved good-bye to Elladan and Elrohir as they left Rivendell. The Fellowship obviously wasn't very talkative as the trudged mile after mile towards Mordor. 

Mako was soon bored, Gauntlet wasn't being very good company as she insisted on traipsing off into the forest to 'investigate' or 'scouting' ahead. The Gondorian, Boromir was his name, didn't look to interested in talking to anyone right now, and the other man Aragorn, was trying in vain to get her sister to listen to him, so that ruled them out. The elf's hands kept twitching like he wanted to strangle something, probably Gauntlet or the dwarf, but it might be best not to give him any opportunities, she was after all very fond of her neck. The dwarf was grumbling, and she didn't feel like listening to a tirade about how that elf shouldn't have come. Gandalf was busy glowering and thinking uncomplimentary things about Elrond. _Hmm... I wonder why?_ was silent sarcastic observation. That left only the Hobbits, Frodo didn't really trust either her or her sister because of the whole Ring incident, but she got along just fine with Merry and Pippin. Mako walked over to them determined to make friends with Frodo and Sam since they were going to be travelling together and all. She decided she better start the conversation out on a neutral tone.

"So, when do you think we'll be eating?" She asked innocently. This immediately led to complaints over how infrequently the Bigfolk ate, which in turn led to a humorous and exaggerated retelling of Aragorn throwing apples at Pippin. This in turn led to more humorous stories from the Hobbits' childhood, Mako also told them about a few of her and Gauntlet's various 'adventures.' It was an enjoyable way to spend the afternoon and it made the walking seem easier.

~*~*~*~

They camped that night in a grove of maple trees. Around the fire that night everyone seemed a bit preoccupied and caught up in their own thoughts.

"Gauntlet, where do you suppose we are?" Mako asked, watching as her sister's face took on a 'scholarly' look. No matter how much she liked to misbehave or have adventures her first love was always learning, something Mako never really understood, why would you want to learn about why something happened or how it worked, when you could be out having adventures and fun?

"Well Mako, there are several explanations, which would you like to hear?" She asked.

Mako looked around the fire, the others looked surprised and perplexed at the change in her sister's attitude. "How about all of them." She suggested.

"Alright, ask me if you need to me to explain something a bit better. Remember you asked for this. We're on earth, or a very similar parallel earth. The constellations are the same, so are there positions relative to our position. I recognised a lot of the flora and fauna, there are a few things that I didn't recognise but that could be just a variation of something we have on earth. The only thing that says this isn't the earth we know, besides the fact that elves and dwarves and what not exist here, is the geological formations. It could be that when Pangea split that the tectonic plates shifted in other directions that of our earth.

Another explanation has to deal with different levels or planes of the earth. Ancient Native American tribes near Central America believed that there were five, I think, different planes of being. Our world was the topmost layer, so this one might be the second outmost one. It's like something in Journey to the Centre of the Earth by Jules Verne.

The last explanation is somewhat exotic. Some scientists believe that civilisation turns in a circle, once it reaches a certain point, the top of the circle if you will, it falls back down, the people reverting to an earlier an earlier form of existence, like going from an ancient Rome-like society back to caveman days, which would be the bottom of the circle. It has little evidence to support it, but let's say that is it true. If it was we could be in a period of earth's past of which there is no documentation or evidence that survived to present day.

I have several other more exotic and less plausible explanations. One thing I do know Mako is that this isn't a dream, for one thing no dream could be this real and another thing in a dream you always look slightly different than in real life, more of how you would prefer to look than how you do. If this were a dream I'd be four inches taller, 5'11" instead of 5'7"."

Mako nodded, wondering if any of those explanations were true, would Gauntlet know how to get them home depending on which one was true. She liked it here and it was fun, but mum was probably real worried. They'd been gone a week already, and they had disappeared on Halloween, so the cops were probably looking for a pair of mutilated bodies. Not that they'd find any or any clue as to where they really were. No one would believe it if they did figure out where they were.

~*~*~*~

Aragorn got them up before daybreak the next day. By the time everyone had eaten and camp was broke the sun was peeking up in the east, casting it's warm glow over the surrounding countryside. Gauntlet hadn't said a word all morning, instead she did as she was told in silence, a worried look on her face. As they started out Gandalf asked her what was bugging her.

"Nothing." She lied.

"Then why do you look worried?" Gandalf asked.

"Because I am." She replied.

"Why don't you tell us what is bothering you." Gandalf suggested.

Gauntlet sighed but complied. "I'm worried about our mum. It's been a week since we arrived here and while we know that we're fine, our mother doesn't. We have no way of telling her we're fine, so she's probably worrying about us being kidnapped, dead, or worse."

"There is nothing you can do about that, so try not to worry." Gandalf told Mako and Gauntlet.

"Trying and succeeding are two different things." Mako said.

The morning passed slowly and in silence. Gauntlet soon pushed her worries to the back of her mind by asking questions about anything and everything. She bugged Legolas to teach her the Elven language, until he relented. She was still working on convincing Gimli to teach her Dwarvish. She asked Gandalf all sorts of questions, about history and magic and whatever caught her attention. She also asked Boromir, Aragorn and the Hobbits about various things. Aragorn was teaching her tracking and other Ranger skills. Mako listened in and learned a few things, but she didn't have the appetite for learning her sister did. Besides that who in their right mind was interested in the history of stonemasonry. After a few weeks of intense study Mako began to watch her sister in grim anticipation, after all it couldn't be too long before her sister's head exploded from all that knowledge. Mako also watched as Legolas slowly reached his wits end. Apparently he didn't want her sister to take his bow, or long knives off his hands. She soon developed a bruise on her ear from it being entirely too convenient for Legolas to grab.

Mako when she wasn't watching her sister get in trouble was getting into trouble herself. Well perhaps not all by herself, Merry and Pippin were helping her. Or rather she was helping Merry and Pippin get into trouble. How were they to know that Gandalf and Aragorn didn't appreciate Bill the pony's load mysteriously lightening in the middle of the night.

~*~*~*~

The Fellowship was resting on a hilltop near Caradhras. Mako and Gauntlet were watching Boromir teach Merry and Pippin sword fighting, well Mako was. Apparently the abundance of pebbles in the vicinity had proved far to tempting for her sister. Who was playing 'How many times can hit the elf before he gets mad.' So far she had hit Legolas three times, no make that four. Gauntlet excitedly turned towards her. 

"Did you see that. A high score. Isn't that awesome." Gauntlet chittered excitedly.

"I'm really proud." Mako said in a monotonous voice as she watched Legolas sneak up behind her sister and grab her ear.

"Ouchies! Lego that hurts!" Gauntlet protested.

"Gauntlet... I think it's supposed to." Mako suggested.

"Lego, I'll be good. Let go of my ear. I know they're small but this really isn't the way to make them any bigger." Gauntlet said. Legolas let go when Gandalf 'suggested' he was acting like a child. As soon as his back was turned Gauntlet resumed her game.

Mako turned back to watching Boromir teach Merry and Pippin sword fighting, as her sister went back to throwing pebbles. Her sister may be really smart but some thing just didn't sink in. Boromir nicked Pippin and soon the three of them were on the ground tussling. Then Aragorn was brought down and forced to join the tussle. The next thing Gauntlet and Mako knew they were being told to hide.

"Spies of Saruman. The passage south is being lost." Gandalf shouted.

"Err... Gandalf are you _sure_ they were spies? I was always under the impression that spies weren't supposed to seen." Mako asked. Gandalf glared at her, while she and Gauntlet high-fived.

"We must take the Pass of Caradhras." Gandalf said ignoring Mako. 

~*~*~*~

End of Chapter 

Will Gauntlet ever learn not to throw pebbles? Will Mako ever find out what her sister wanted to trade the Ring for? 

AN- Well that's the first chapter. Hope you liked it. Read and Review.


	2. Getting to the Gates of Moria

In Which Everything that Can Go Wrong, Goes Wrong

(Or In Which We Wreak Havoc In Middle-earth)

by Mako-Shadows

Disclaimer- We still don't own Middle-earth. Not for lack of trying though.

Chapter Two: Getting to the Gates of Moria

~*~*~*~

Last time.

"We must take the Pass of Caradhras." 

~*~*~*~

And so despite Mako and Gauntlet trying to convince Gandalf that spies really wouldn't announce their presence like crebain had.

__

A few hours earlier.

"Really Gandalf, I don't think they were spies." Mako said.

"They were spies." Gandalf insisted.

"Oh, well if Gandalf says a flock of birds are spies, then they must be." Gauntlet said sarcastically. "I mean someone as wise as a senile old wizard, must know what a spy really is."

"Why Gauntlet, I believe you're right. Those birds simply have to be spies because Gandalf said they were. So Gandalf those are spies because you said so, right?"

Gandalf nodded.

Present Time

They were walking towards a mountain that looked like it had been bathed in blood at the beginning of time and probably a bit more recently. Gauntlet and Mako were walking in the back, sulking because they still didn't think that a flock of birds spied on them for Saruman. As they got closer to the mountain Mako began to get jittery asshe realised that they really were going to have to climb it. She was just a bit hesitant when it came to heights. Gauntlet on the other hand loved them and always enjoyed walking closer to the edge then Mako thought healthy. 

~*~*~*~

"Shit, Mako, I just realised something." Gauntlet cursed, while they took a rest before climbing Caradhras.

"What?" Mako asked.

"I'm missing my flying lessons. How my supposed to get my wings now that we're stuck here?" She complained.

"Get your wings?" Frodo asked. "What's that?"

"When I learn how to fly I get my wings." Gauntlet explained.

"Your kind can fly?" Boromir asked looking at them strangely.

"No, of course not, we don't have wings!" Gauntlet said.

"But you just said-" Pippin said.

"I know what I just said. I don't really grow wings when I learn to fly. It's just a term we use. I'm learning how to fly a machine, an iron bird. Sort of." Gauntlet explained.

"Oh. What do you do on your world?" Merry asked.

"Well I'm a student, and Gauntlet is a student too, but she's also in the reserves." Mako said.

"You world allows females in the military?" Boromir asked incredulously.

"Yes." Gauntlet snapped.

"For someone in the military, you have no discipline." Boromir noted.

Gauntlet for some reason was looking highly insulted. "I'm not wearing my uniform. In uniform I'm disciplined and a damn good soldier."

Boromir looked sceptical. Gauntlet went rigid and looked him in the eye daring him to look away first. Mako sighed and thought this is why our friends call her Gauntlet Challenge. This battle of wills went on for some time and eventually Boromir looked away. Gauntlet smirked, looking incredibly arrogant and prideful. 

"Let's go Gandalf. We should get this done with." Mako suggested.

~*~*~*~

They had walked up a bit of the mountain when Frodo decided to fall back down it. Aragorn helped him to his feet and then they realised that he didn't have the Ring anymore. Not that that was a problem in Mako's eyes, so long as her sister didn't pick it up. Lucky for Gauntlet, Boromir picked it up. The Fellowship tensed, excluding Gauntlet who was oblivious to what was happening as she was busy making a snowman, since they had stopped and all.

"Boromir." Aragorn said his hand reaching towards his hilt.

"It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing." Boromir said softly.

"Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo." Aragorn ordered, half pulling his sword out.

"As you wish. I care not." Boromir said handing Frodo the Ring and tousling his hair. The air was still filled with tension until...

"Hey, Lego, Mako! Look at my snowman." Gauntlet demanded. Legolas and Mako rolled their eyes and obediently looked at the snowman.

~*~*~*~

They set off once more up Caradhras. Going up the mountain wasn't to tough until it started to snow... heavily. Gauntlet enjoyed the snow and didn't seem to mind one bit that it was slippery when she went right close to the edge of the path to look at the sharp rocks down below. Mako watched her sister walk along the edge like a tightrope walker and sighed. The way she acted made Mako wonder if she was the older sister and someone had just switched their birthdays. It would explain a lot.

"Get away from the edge, Gauntlet." Aragorn ordered. "You will fall."

"No, I won't. Lady Luck loves me." She said and went on walking ignoring Aragorn. Mako was going to say something but Legolas beat her to it. He walked up to Gauntlet and grabbed her ear and dragged her away from the edge. 

"That wasn't very elf-like you know." She told Legolas.

"That wasn't very adult-like you know." He retorted mimicking her.

"Oh, grow up Legolas. Live a little. Have some fun." Gauntlet said. Legolas blinked.

"What was that?" Boromir asked.

"It was an oxymoron." Gauntlet replied.

"It was a moron alright." Boromir muttered.

Gauntlet didn't respond instead she calmly bent down and picked up some snow, rolled it into a ball and threw it at Boromir. It missed of course and hit Gimli. Gauntlet was an expert shot with guns, laser tag, darts and everything else like that including Frisbees. But when it came to throwing something round the closest she ever came to hitting her target was three and a quarter inches, and the target was two feet across and three feet high. Gimli blinked the snow from his eyes and glared at Gauntlet, Gauntlet didn't notice since the dwarf's eyes were usually squinted. Merry and Pippin on the other hand had decided that Gauntlet's snowball was lonely and wanted company, so they let lose some snowballs, both hitting Gauntlet. And so the snowball war went on. Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Mako, and Gauntlet pelting each other with snowballs and sometimes missing and hitting Gimli, or the Big Folk. (It was mostly Gauntlet who missed.)

Unfortunately their game was brought to an abrupt end when each one of them had an ear pulled. Boromir grabbed Merry and Pippin by the ear, Aragorn grabbed Frodo and Sam, and Legolas grabbed Gauntlet and Mako.

"I swear you take a sadistic pleasure in twisting people's ears Lego." Gauntlet complained trying to pull Legolas' hand away from her ear. Not the brightest thing to do. 

Gandalf then started to lecture them on the importance of behaving, it was enough to put someone asleep. As Mako learned judging from the snores coming from beside her. She glanced over and sure enough Gauntlet was sleeping, while the rest of the delinquents including herself just had their eyes glazed over. Gandalf finally finished and they continued up Caradhras. Walking silence mostly because half of the fellowship was sulking.

~*~*~*~

"I hear a fell voice on the air." Legolas said.

"What's a fell voice?" Gauntlet asked.

"It's Saruman." Gandalf shouted.

"Him. Again." Mako said. "Why doesn't he get a hobby."

"I think this is his hobby." Gauntlet shouted.

The Fellowship jumps back as they are narrowly missed by an avalanche.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn shouted.

Mako sighed and was about mention that shouting does cause avalanches when Gauntlet beat her to the punch.

"Tch! Shouting causes avalanches, dear fellows. Not wind." Gauntlet smirked not humbled in the least by the avalanche nearly missing them. Gandalf shouted no and then some words in the wonderful language of gibberish. Then the wind said some gibberish and lightning struck the mountain. Gauntlet sighed and wished she wasn't standing on the edge when the snow hit them. The group dug themselves out of the snow. Even Gauntlet and Mako gaped thinking that Lady Luck did indeed look out for her sister.

"We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!" Boromir shouted.

"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!" Aragorn shouted.

"Why don't we want to go there?" Gauntlet tilting her head to one side.

"Saruman lives in Isengard." Mako said knocking her sister upside the head.

"We cannot pass over the mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the mines of Moria." Gimli suggested.

"Let the Ring-bearer decide." Gandalf said.

"Hey that's not fair!" Gauntlet complained. "I don't think you've told us everything. You're letting him make an uninformed decision." She finished making it sound like the worst thing a person could do.

Mako sighed, in her sister's mind that could quite possibly be the worst thing in the world.

"We cannot stay here! This will be the death of the Hobbits." Boromir shouted.

"Frodo?" Gandalf asked grimly.

"We will go through the mines." He said.

~*~*~*~

And so the Fellowship turned and went back down the mountain. That night they set up camp in a grove of trees. Mako decided that she was going to find out what exactly what it was that her sister wanted to trade the Ring for. So while they were eating dinner around the campfire Mako decided to ask the question she figured everyone wanted the answer to.

"Gauntlet what exactly was it that you were going to trade the Ring for?" Mako asked.

Gauntlet shrugged before answering. "A glass of orange juice."

A couple of loud thuds were heard as just about everyone besides Gauntlet fainted in light of her answer. After they were revived and Gandalf was just about to start lecturing, Gauntlet interrupted. 

"What I was thirsty." She said, obviously not finding anything wrong with what she had tried to do. Mako gave a long suffering sigh as she glanced at her companions. Legolas' hands were again twitching as he tried to control the urge to wring her sisters' neck. Aragorn and Boromir were sharpening their swords very obviously. Gimli was flabbergasted. And the Hobbits were just staring incredulously until Pippin broke the silence.

"Yeah, a glass of orange juice sounds good right about now." He said. Frodo began to back slowly away from Pippin and Gauntlet.

~*~*~*~

The next morning the started off once more towards the Mines of Moria. It took them awhile to get there since Gandalf got them lost a few times. Mako was getting more and more worried about going through some very extensive mines with someone whose memory was obviously going. She was just about to raise this concern of hers when they arrived at the mines.

"The walls of Moria." Gimli said reverently.

"Wow! Looks like a mountainside to me!" Gauntlet said sarcastically.

Gimli ignored her 'gracious' comments. "Dwarf doors are invisible when closed."

"Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them if their secrets are forgotten." Gandalf told them.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Legolas asked. Gauntlet snickered and Mako sighed trying not to join her sister.

As far as Gauntlet was concerned Gandalf was just talking to himself when suddenly a door appeared. Well actually it looked more like a drawing of a door than an actual door. Gauntlet thought Gandalf was really smart and all but sometimes she wondered. I mean some of the things he told her just weren't scientifically possible. He didn't honestly expect her to believe that even if they were real dragons, they could fly, especially if they were encrusted with jewels as armour. Did he? Not that it mattered much to her, she'd just do what she always did. Believe when she saw it. Seeing a dragon sounded like fun, and she wondered what it would do if she poked it. She still remembered the beaver poking incident. Not to mention the ant poking incident. Not that she learned anything from it.

"Well, let's see. Ithildin. It mirrors only starlight and moonlight. It reads, 'The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter.' " Gandalf explained.

"What do you suppose that means?" Merry asked.

"Oh, it's quite simple. If you are a friend, you speak the password and the doors will open. _Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen! _(Gate of the Elves open now for me!)" Gandalf said.

__

Right... That's why the doors aren't opening. Gauntlet thought.

"Nothing's happening." Pippin said tugging on Legolas' sleeve.

"I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves, Men and Orcs." Gandalf said.

__

Key word. Once. Gauntlet thought.

"What are you going to do, then?" Pippin asked.

"Knock you head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words." Gandalf snarled.

__

Sure, blame your senility on the Hobbit. 

"Don't worry Pip, the only foolish questions are the ones left unasked." Gauntlet said.

Mako looked at her 'dearest' sister. Was that supposed to be comforting? One minute her sister was the way she was when they were younger and the next she reverted back to the cynical, caustic person she'd become after seeing the 'real world'.

Gauntlet looked around and saw that her sister was watching Merry and Pippin throw rocks. Aragorn and Sam were getting rid of the pony, err... Rather letting it go. She didn't really care, she didn't trust the pony, as it kept trying to kick her. Gauntlet was sure Sam put the pony up to it, all because she wanted a glass of orange juice. Why couldn't she have lied about what she was willing trade millions of peoples lives for? 

Gauntlet watched as Aragorn walked up to the Hobbits and told them not to disturb the water. Shouldn't he have said that before they threw stones? Whatever was in the water was probably already awake after having some stones drop into its' living room. Like the talking frog from the Enchanted Forest books.

"Oh, it's useless." Gandalf said slumping down in defeat.

"It's a riddle. "Speak 'friend' and enter." What's the Elvish word for "friend"?" Frodo asked.

"_Mellon" _Gandalf said. Then a crack appeared and soon the doors opened into a dark cavern of pitch black unknown.

__

Real welcoming.

~*~*~*~

AN- WOW! An update! Don't worry I'll try to be faster next time, and if I ain't feel free to e-mail demanding another chapter. Next story I will be updating is Merry's Birthday. Either later tonight or early tomorrow.

For the record I am keeping my sister and my personalities very close to our real ones. Mako really does get jittery at heights above three feet up a ladder. And I am joining to reserves this summer, and never look away first when someone challenges me.


	3. Mines of Moria

In Which Everything that Can Go Wrong, Goes Wrong.

(Or In Which We Wreak Havoc In Middle-earth)

by Mako Shadows

Diclaimer- We don't own Middle-earth yet, but I have a plan. First we'll give everyone nice rich chocolaty brownies, and then not give them Milk until they give us Middle-earth. Oh! Now why'd I tell you that! Now you'll do it before I can. Aaaww shucks!

Chapter Three: In the Mines of Moria. 

~*~*~*~

Last Time

_Real welcoming.___

~*~*~*~

"Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone! This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!" Gimli said as they walked into the pitch black unknown.

Mako was a little leery of going in the mine. There were probably holes and pitfalls galore that her sister would no doubt find without any trouble. Gauntlet always told her that she could take care of herself but... then she'd do something like walk close to the edge of a cliff. Besides Mako knew her mothering got on her sister's nerves.

Boromir lifted his torch up high to light the area and it illuminated a dozen or so skeletons. "This is no mine. It's a tomb."

Mako turned and retched, she'd never seen real live dead people before. Her sister never had either but apparently it didn't make her retch. Mako sighed as she wiped her mouth, Gauntlet did want to dissect a cadaver. Luckily for everyone Gauntlet showed remarkable tact and didn't start to poke the skeletons with a stick.

"Goblins." Legolas snarled as he picked up an arrow.

"But Lego that's an arrow." Gauntlet said.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here." Boromir said and they started to leave the mine. "Now, get out of here. Get out!"

The Hobbits who were huddled at the door. Started to shout. Mako turned and saw that a giant krakken-type creature was attacking them. As the others rushed forward to save them, she reached around and grabbed her double-ended halberd off her back, and pressed a switch on it to extend it to full length, just as her sister went tearing by.

"Whaddya suppose it'll do if I poke it?" Gauntlet shouted as she reached for the bar of metal attached to her belt. Gauntlet pressed a switch and it extended into a full-length trident. 

Mako and Gauntlet joined the fight against the Watcher in the Water. Her sister doing exactly what she said she'd do. Mako watched as her sister ran gleefully out to the monster and stabbed the end of her trident into its' eye. (Not the pitchfork end, the other end.) One of the Watcher's tentacles knocked her to the opposite end of the lake. 

"Gauntlet! You idiot!" Mako screamed as she was dragged into the mine with the others now that they had rescued Frodo. 

The Watcher did not immediately attack them, in fact it had turned around, distracted Mako thought by her sister. Then something came hurtling through the air and landed inside the dark mine. Aragorn pulled Mako back from the entrance just as the Watcher pulled it down.

~*~*~*~

"We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world." Gandalf said grimly.

"But what about my sister? We can't just leave her!" Mako said upset to say the least.

"We knew the risks when we chose to come on this journey." Boromir said.

"We didn't chose to come!" Mako yelled.

"Oh! My head hurts!" A voice said just outside the circle of light.

"Gauntlet!" Mako shouted as she leapt forward and hugged her sister.

"Get off Mako! I hurt!" Gauntlet said as she slowly got up. Mako looked at her sister critically. She was soaking wet and covered in grime. Dark bruises were already starting to form on every exposed part of skin, and Mako thought every other part of her body. Her eyes weren't focusing either.

"When will you learn you aren't immortal?" Mako asked.

"When I die." Her sister shrugged, picking up her trident which she had managed to retain during her adventure.

"It does not look as if she broke any bones." Aragorn said.

"I didn't. My bones never break. They're way too strong and dense for a little fall like that to break them." Gauntlet growled as she walked a few steps gingerly.

"Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed." Gandalf said as they set out at a fair clip. Gauntlet managed to keep up although she had a vacant look about her.

~*~*~*~

They came to a hole in the floor after an hour or two. They stopped and rested while Gandalf and Aragorn discussed what they were going to do and how Gauntlet was going to get across. Gauntlet solved that problem by getting up, examining the gap, and jumping it without warning anyone what she was going to do.

"Gauntlet! Why in hell'd you do that?!" Mako asked glaring at her sister.

"I wanted to see what was on this side. Besides Gandalf and Aragorn were worried about how I was going to get over, so I just decided to show everyone that I'm fine and don't need any help." Gauntlet said cheekily.

When they camped that night Aragorn wanted to take a closer look at Gauntlet's injuries. When he examined her in the dim light from Gandalf's staff he saw that most of her bruising was already gone. The only bruises that remained were the ones that had been a sickly yellow- green earlier.

"You heal remarkably fast." Aragorn said.

"I know," Gauntlet nodded, "it sucked as a child. I could never keep my shiners for more than a day. It's funny that way. I heal real fast and Mako heals slower than average. Does anyone want to play Go Fish?"

Gauntlet, Mako, Pippin, Merry and Sam played Go Fish until Gandalf took the cards away and told them to go to bed.

~*~*~*~

"The wealth of Moria was not in gold, or jewels, but mithril." Gandalf said as they were walking through the mine the next day. "Bilbo had a shirt of mithril rings that Thorin gave him."

"Oh, that was a kingly gift." Gimli said.

"Yes, I never told him but its worth was greater than the value of the Shire." Gandalf said.

"You've got to be kidding me." Mako exclaimed, "You value a piece of metal more than people's lives!"

"Mako, I think he means the worth of the Shire minus the people, you know only the material possessions. And on our world everyone values everything more than human lives. So talk about the pan calling the kettle a pot."

"Gauntlet don't you mean the pot calling the kettle black." Mako sighed.

"Same difference." Gauntlet shrugged.

~*~*~*~

"Ugh. I have no memory of this place." Gandalf said as they came to an intersection.

"Wanna play Rock, Paper, Scissors to chose which way to go?" Gauntlet asked. Mako sighed and hit her upside the head. "Hey what was that for?!"

The Fellowship sat around while Gandalf put on his thinking hat, which didn't look much different from his regular one. It was getting boring real fast and it didn't look like the situation was going to be remedied anytime soon. Mako watched as her sister gathered a small pile of rocks and fell back onto what was fast becoming her favourite hobby, 'Let's throw pebbles at Legolas'. Mako watched with interest as his hands began to twitch and he began to mutter something under his breath which sounded suspiciously like 'calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean'. Seeing as her sister didn't need any help getting herself in trouble, Mako looked around at the other members of the Fellowship.

Pippin and Merry were having a 'conversation', Aragorn and Boromir were sharpening their swords... again. Did they do anything else. Sam was just sitting around and Frodo was watching a pair of glowing eyes. _Wait a minute since when was there glowing eyes? _Mako thought.

"Gauntlet!" Mako hissed, "Do you see those eyes?"

"Huh?" Gauntlet said dropping her rock. "What? Oh, those eyes. Yeah I saw them the day before yesterday. Creepy aren't they? Doesn't make hardly any noise when walking, that's why no one else noticed him. I saw him when I was gathering rocks to throw at Lego. He hissed at me! Can you believe that? Hissed! At me!" She finished indignantly.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Mako demanded. Gauntlet shrugged. 

"Ah! It's that way." Gandalf said.

"He's remembered." Merry exclaimed as they got up.

"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose." Gandalf said as they walked through the tunnel.

It was a dark tunnel with more than a bit of dust and Mako was sure that there were a spider or two lurking just beyond the light waiting to attack her. They were probably huge banana spiders.

"Gauntlet!" Mako hissed, "I think I just saw a spider!"

Gauntlet rolled her eyes and stood still, waiting for everyone to pass by her. As soon as they had she let her adjust and set off to kill any spider unfortunate enough to set up a web here. Gauntlet had no problem with spiders, she used to put flies and other bugs into their webs to make sure they had enough to eat. But her sister was just a little antsy around them. After looking around for fifteen minutes and not finding any spiders Gauntlet went to catch up with the others.

"Did you kill all the spiders?" Mako asked. Gauntlet nodded. If she had said there hadn't been any spiders Mako would still be seeing them in the shadows, but if she said they were dead she couldn't. 

After walking for what seemed a year to Mako, they came to a stop. Gauntlet wasn't paying attention as she was scouring the ground for pebbles, and crashed right into Legolas. After picking herself up she muttered something almost under her breath that sounded like 'sorry'. Mako blinked. Her sister never said sorry, she had a policy against it. 'If I do something I'm not going to feel sorry about it, because if I do, then I know that I knew I shouldn't have done it in the first place.' Rather confusing until you ran it by yourself a few times.

"Let me risk a little more light." Gandalf said making his staff brighter and holding it up higher. "Behold, the great realm and Dwarf-city of Dwarrowdelf."

"There's an eye opener, and no mistake." Sam said awed.

"Looks real draftee to me." Gauntlet remarked.

They walked through the Dwarrowdelf chamber until they came to a room that connected to the chamber. Gimli let out a strangled cry as he saw the sarcophagus, and ran into the room before anyone could stop him. The others rushed in after him.

"'Here lies Balin, son of Fundin, Lord of Moria.' He is dead, then. It's as I feared." Gandalf said as he read from the sarcophagus. Gimli knelt before the tomb and wept inconsolably. Gandalf gave Pippin his staff and hat.

"We must move on. We cannot linger." Legolas said with quiet urgency.

Mako stood quietly near the Hobbits and watched what was going on around her. Gauntlet stood as far away from Gimli as possible, looking very uncomfortable. Tears always made her uncomfortable. The Fellowship listened to Gandalf as he read from the Book of Mazarbul. As the others listened to Gandalf read, the eternally curious Pippin, found something interesting to investigate. He turned the an arrow embedded in the Dwarven skeleton, and ... KABANG! It fell down the well, startling the others.

"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your stupidity." Gandalf shouted angrily as he snatched back his staff and hat.

"Hey! Leave Pip alone! You meanie!" Mako shouted at Gandalf.

"Woah! Channelling Rinoa there, weren't you? Don't do that again, little sister. I don't think my ears are up to it, eh." Gauntlet said rubbing the gooseflesh off her arms. In the deep a drum began to beat. Frodo half-pulled Sting from its sheath and it glowed blue.

"Orcs." Legolas hissed.

Boromir rushed to the door and was narrowly missed by an orc arrow. Aragorn shouted that they were to stay close to Gandalf, and rushed of to help. Legolas soon joined them and they used axes to as a makeshift bar for the door.

"They have a cave-troll." Boromir said 'enthusiastically.'

The door was not enough to keep the cave-troll out and it and what seemed like hundreds of orcs soon let themselves in. Mako put her halberd at ready and her sister brought out her trident. Gauntlet caught up in it all, grinned wickedly at her sister.

"What do suppose it'll do if I poke it?" She said, pointing at the cave-troll, and not waiting for an answer jumped enthusiastically into the fray. Mako not wanting to die, like her overenthusiastic sister, kept to the smaller orcs. 

Gauntlet rushed up to the cave-troll and rammed her trident into it's thigh. And she found out what it would do if she poked. It swung its arm around at her and sent her flying into a wall. Mako glanced as her sister picked herself up and jumped right back into the battle, this time sticking to poking orcs. Mako thanked the gods that her sister apparently had a bit of common sense knocked into her by the wall.

Mako turned and watched helplessly as Frodo was stabbed by the cave-troll. Now Gauntlet got to see what happened when you poked a Hobbit. The Fellowship renewed their attack with ferocity, and soon the bad guys were vanquished. The Fellowship stood around Frodo who they thought was dead, when he stirred.

"He's alive." Sam gasped.

"I'm all right. I'm not hurt." Frodo said weakly.

"No, of course not, you were just smashed up real bad and knocked out for awhile but you're absolutely hunky-dory." Gauntlet said sarcastically.

"You should be dead. That spear would have skewered a wild boar." Aragorn said softly.

"I think there's more to this Hobbit than meets the eye." Gandalf said sagely.

Frodo slowly unbuttoned his shirt and showed them his mithril shirt. 

"Mithril. You are full of surprises, Master Baggins." Gimli said in awe. 

"To the Bridge of Kazad-dûm!" Gandalf commanded as they once again heard orcs.

~*~*~*~

AN- Next chapter: The bridge and Beyond


End file.
